259 Nieves Canada About Being Multipotential And Pursuing Multiple Passions | What's On Your Mind?

[00:00:00] But if you're not interested in just one thing, but in multiple things,

[00:00:04] multi-potential, a creative generalist.

[00:00:10] Yes, it's indeed a conversation in English.

[00:00:12] I'm talking to Nieves Kanada.

[00:00:16] She lives in Ghent.

[00:00:18] She was born in Spain.

[00:00:20] And that's why we chose to use English instead of Dutch or Spanish.

[00:00:25] My Spanish is dos cervezas, por favor, and I don't drink any cervezas.

[00:00:30] So that's why English is a very passionate conversation about a very passionate, beautiful

[00:00:37] soul who is living life and everything what is inside of her trying to express it.

[00:00:47] And in her profession, she's a VP Customer Success.

[00:00:52] But besides that, she's studying positive psychology, bringing out an education book

[00:00:58] for children and parents.

[00:01:01] She is a piano teacher, so very interesting conversation with Nieves.

[00:01:06] Enjoy.

[00:01:07] Welcome to What's On Your Mind with Peter Snowhart.

[00:01:11] Every week a guest talks about his or her story, and that story can inspire you to

[00:01:15] change your own.

[00:01:16] Here's Peter.

[00:01:17] Well, first of all, Nieves, I think you have a very beautiful name.

[00:01:22] Thank you.

[00:01:24] OK, this is recording.

[00:01:30] Where we're going to start?

[00:01:36] I'm going to start a little bit soft before we dive into the thing that we want to discuss

[00:01:41] is I looked on your LinkedIn and you've held several management positions and it's

[00:01:53] a combination of customer success and it's also sales.

[00:01:59] I mean, I mean, I have a feeling that you went from the sales so the selling part towards

[00:02:07] the customer success and I associate customer success with because I also saw that you

[00:02:18] set up customer success teams.

[00:02:22] One of the most difficult things to do because it's wanting to sell something based on expectation

[00:02:28] and setting expectations.

[00:02:31] And then the customer success is, yeah, when the thing is not working properly, when those

[00:02:38] expectations are not met, etc., etc., etc.

[00:02:42] So basically you're getting a lot of shit.

[00:02:47] So I'm wondering, I mean, why?

[00:02:52] Why are you so attracted to that?

[00:02:55] Well, maybe also to take a step back.

[00:02:58] Indeed, I've worked always or I started working around sales, but I also worked in

[00:03:04] marketing and corporate strategy.

[00:03:07] I was busy doing forecasts worldwide in a corporate world.

[00:03:11] And I think when I landed in customer success, I found my place that I was looking for

[00:03:16] because I couldn't fit sales because I don't like the hard negotiation part.

[00:03:21] But I do like bringing solutions to customers and I look into how can I help others?

[00:03:29] And I think when it comes to customer success, it was the commercial skills in a software.

[00:03:37] And I think that that was what brought me there.

[00:03:40] Because customer success is about renewal because it's wanting to sell the first time,

[00:03:48] but customer success in more source-oriented organizations is so important because when

[00:03:55] a customer is happy and so is seeing the value or even receiving more value than the price

[00:04:01] they are paying for it thanks to customer success, then they're going to renew the

[00:04:05] contract over and over again.

[00:04:08] Exactly.

[00:04:09] And that comes with a lot of shit because it's not about you sell something and you have

[00:04:13] a happy customer.

[00:04:15] It's about where the journey starts.

[00:04:17] So they need to see the value.

[00:04:19] So customer success in some organizations can be we take care of the renewals, but it's

[00:04:26] much more than that because the renewal if you're done your job well and that's

[00:04:31] on how can a customer find the value of their investment, then the renewal is just

[00:04:36] a transition or transactional step.

[00:04:39] Yeah, you mean the upselling part?

[00:04:41] That's another thing.

[00:04:42] When you have a happy customer they know the value of the product.

[00:04:46] They will be open to explore additional capabilities of the product.

[00:04:52] And that's also the part of the commercial side that I was talking because you need

[00:04:56] to be able to detect that to connect the dots between I know you guys started

[00:05:02] with this, but I know this and this and this customer in your same industry and

[00:05:06] they are already using or going into this direction.

[00:05:09] And that's how you bring a solution or you even anticipate the solution to them.

[00:05:15] And that's how upsell happens as well.

[00:05:17] And then of course when there is a hard negotiation, there is a sales team to close that.

[00:05:22] Right.

[00:05:24] Now, you've also set up teams.

[00:05:29] So you've attracted hired people.

[00:05:32] I mean, I sense, I feel that

[00:05:36] that you have a very, how do you say that?

[00:05:39] Human human side.

[00:05:42] I don't want to call it softness because it's softness sounds a little bit negative,

[00:05:45] but it's just very positive.

[00:05:47] I think you you have a very you not something I feel is that you

[00:05:53] see every individual as as as unique and they come with talents and they come

[00:05:58] with some kind of manual and and you know how to put people into their strengths.

[00:06:05] Wow, Peter, I'm impressed.

[00:06:07] I have a goose bumps.

[00:06:08] But that's something I feel.

[00:06:10] Wow. That's how I describe my leadership style.

[00:06:13] So I really I mean leadership because I genuinely believe in each individual

[00:06:19] and I really enjoy letting them know you are unique.

[00:06:24] These are your strengths.

[00:06:25] How can we potentially make them or put you at your best?

[00:06:30] So exactly that's what I really enjoy.

[00:06:33] Without acting, you are the boss.

[00:06:36] Oh, no. You see.

[00:06:38] So so it's your style of leadership is really about

[00:06:42] serving them and getting most out of them, becoming the best version of

[00:06:46] themselves that sounds very American, but in a good human way, not in a

[00:06:52] it's just performance for the performance way because it's human beings.

[00:06:56] It's it's really about that that expression of what's inside of them.

[00:07:00] Yeah, exactly.

[00:07:01] And I think and that's also very related to coaching.

[00:07:05] I'm also a coach and I think that's a strength because when you

[00:07:10] I think when when we grow up, we you have your talents and you have

[00:07:14] your things that you need to get better of.

[00:07:17] And there is a lot of pressure in getting better at those things.

[00:07:20] And I think we are taking it in the wrong way.

[00:07:23] Why should you take effort and energy in something that you're not going to

[00:07:26] get better? You can, in the best case, be an average performer,

[00:07:31] but you can excel in your talents.

[00:07:33] So that's what I'm looking into when I'm building a team.

[00:07:36] I look into this is what I need.

[00:07:39] Who can be each unique piece in my puzzle?

[00:07:42] And and that brings a lot of fulfillment for them.

[00:07:45] And that brings a lot of productive and and and yeah, and power team as well.

[00:07:51] Yeah, because you don't have to micromanage your exactly.

[00:07:55] Well, I have the same philosophy.

[00:07:58] I have the feeling that still a lot of companies underestimate that

[00:08:02] that kind of view that they are more focused on on more the

[00:08:09] maybe male energy where they it's all about action and performance

[00:08:14] and more rational part of it.

[00:08:16] And that they are treating every individual as the same as long as

[00:08:20] they're fitting into into some kind of KPI system.

[00:08:25] This is what you need to do.

[00:08:26] This is how many calls the ticket should be closed within within one hour,

[00:08:30] etc., etc. Instead of yeah, like you said who I know we should do this.

[00:08:37] But it's it really depends of how can we create a situation where

[00:08:41] the total is more than the sum of the underlying parts,

[00:08:45] which which is the dynamics of a team.

[00:08:47] And I and I that's my personal opinion.

[00:08:50] It's something when there's a lot of stress on the numbers in a company

[00:08:55] because they always want to grow very fast.

[00:09:01] That this is a little bit

[00:09:04] yeah, how do you say not seen always as is important.

[00:09:09] And and there is also the other part.

[00:09:11] You can also go only in the direction where there is no performance part.

[00:09:15] It needs to be really a balance of the two.

[00:09:18] Exactly, I believe 100 percent with you.

[00:09:21] I think in the middle is the right thing because

[00:09:26] you cannot have only a team that it's exhausted chasing numbers

[00:09:32] while you are not even aware of how are they dealing in their personal life

[00:09:37] because that affects also productivity.

[00:09:39] So finding the balance between we have a shared target,

[00:09:42] that's our direction.

[00:09:44] How are we going to get there as individual and as a team?

[00:09:47] So don't take me wrong.

[00:09:48] I'm not soft at all when it comes to getting my target.

[00:09:52] Say I'm also very goal driven.

[00:09:56] But it's how can we know in the destination go in the best way

[00:10:00] that in the end that's also part of your own growth

[00:10:03] and that will have an impact on the company's growth as well.

[00:10:08] How I mean, you also when hiring people, building teams,

[00:10:14] I also assume that you hire also you hire

[00:10:19] different ages.

[00:10:23] The things that I see is that especially younger people

[00:10:31] is that they are not aware of their talents yet.

[00:10:35] That they still due to maybe living only in their heads or just not knowing

[00:10:41] or not being aware of that or nobody asked them actually

[00:10:44] or they were just fitting in some kind of system.

[00:10:48] But we're not asking themselves what is life asking

[00:10:52] or what is life trying to express from within me?

[00:10:58] Is how do you when somebody when you spot somebody

[00:11:02] in a team, you see, OK, I can do something with that person?

[00:11:08] How how well first of all, are people young people approaching

[00:11:12] you with that question? I don't know my talents.

[00:11:15] I think there is much more self reflection now in younger people

[00:11:19] than when we were not each to be honest, because we are when you are 40,

[00:11:24] you start thinking, OK, now what do I really want?

[00:11:28] But these new generations, they know already what they want.

[00:11:30] And sometimes that's an issue because they want to be there already

[00:11:33] while they still need to build the experience and gratification.

[00:11:37] Exactly. So that's I think that the most difficult challenge there.

[00:11:41] But it could be that someone is still experimenting.

[00:11:44] And I think the role of a leader in that case is crucial

[00:11:48] because by mirroring

[00:11:52] good feedback, so it's not only about you can you need to get better here,

[00:11:56] but also you've done this good because this, this and that do more of this.

[00:12:02] They will also realize, OK, it's not fluffy feedback.

[00:12:04] It's something I've done and I need to be proud of.

[00:12:07] And I think that's also finding the balance between not

[00:12:10] to be constantly rewarding because in the end it's your job

[00:12:15] and you need to do a good job. Otherwise, what are we doing here?

[00:12:19] But also letting them know what I always say is take this opportunity.

[00:12:23] You're working in this company.

[00:12:24] You're not going to be here for the rest of your life.

[00:12:27] But if you have a goal, how can we today work in this context

[00:12:32] towards that personal growth?

[00:12:34] And that's where you'll find their intrinsic motivation.

[00:12:38] That's what I love doing because then I also understand more

[00:12:41] why they would take an action or the other one.

[00:12:45] Where are they looking for and how can I today help them in getting into that,

[00:12:49] knowing that they're not going to stay with the company for 20 years?

[00:12:52] Right. OK. Now, if you just mentioned when you're over 40 or something like that,

[00:13:04] I mean, you will ask yourself more profound questions.

[00:13:11] What's inside of me? What am I good of?

[00:13:14] And once you start taking that journey, you and me,

[00:13:19] we discover that there is a lot.

[00:13:22] And then you are coming to the topic of the multi potential.

[00:13:27] So or maybe the creative generalist.

[00:13:30] So the fact that there is a lot.

[00:13:35] And for me personally, I struggled with that for years

[00:13:40] because I thought that I only could be or could be great at one thing.

[00:13:48] And I should pursue that one thing, especially professionally.

[00:13:52] And and like, for instance, asking questions, deep conversations.

[00:13:57] I mean, five years ago, I would like I never thought I would be doing that

[00:14:02] or even enjoying that or even would be good at it.

[00:14:07] Because there's always that thing that.

[00:14:11] How do you know what you're passionate about

[00:14:14] and where do you get energy from?

[00:14:16] Because, I mean, when I start doing this, it took a lot of work.

[00:14:21] A lot of preparation.

[00:14:23] It's the same with playing guitar.

[00:14:25] I mean, it's it's in the beginning.

[00:14:28] It's a very steep learning curve.

[00:14:31] But but now, I mean, we connect.

[00:14:34] You you you entered a little bit nervous for me.

[00:14:38] It's like I've done this so many times.

[00:14:41] And I just drive on the connection we already had in again.

[00:14:46] So it's a very intuitive decision.

[00:14:49] Then I trust the universe and surrender.

[00:14:50] I'm like, yeah, the energy will bring me wherever it needs to bring me

[00:14:55] in some kind of flow state.

[00:14:57] The only thing that I need to do is get my ego out of the equation.

[00:15:04] So the the the head thing and then some kind of magic will will will unfold.

[00:15:11] So how how I mean, how how how did you discover that there is a lot in you?

[00:15:19] And it also brings sometimes stress in order

[00:15:23] yeah, that you are I want to taste a little bit of this, this, this.

[00:15:26] How first the first question to start it.

[00:15:28] How did you discover that there is a lot in you and how do you

[00:15:33] do that or be that?

[00:15:34] Or how do you?

[00:15:36] Yeah, how did you discover what what what the different things

[00:15:40] that they're inside of you?

[00:15:41] I'm going to start with that.

[00:15:43] That's already a huge question.

[00:15:45] So I would say there have been like two parts and unconscious one and a conscious one.

[00:15:51] So the unconscious one start when you are a child and they ask you,

[00:15:54] what do you want to be when you are when you are grow up?

[00:15:58] And for me it was like

[00:16:00] depending on the day, I wanted to be a fashion designer.

[00:16:03] I wanted to be a psychologist.

[00:16:04] I wanted to travel around.

[00:16:06] I wanted to be a teacher.

[00:16:09] So and what age was that?

[00:16:11] When you start asking little children like five, five, six,

[00:16:16] you knew at five that you want to become a psychologist.

[00:16:20] Not with that word, but I want to help people.

[00:16:22] OK, so.

[00:16:24] But yeah, how do you know at that age what you want to be?

[00:16:26] And I think that's a wrong question.

[00:16:29] I think the right question is what do you enjoy doing

[00:16:33] because then you are already unlocking the right talents of that child.

[00:16:38] Because you don't need to become something.

[00:16:40] You already you are you are it already.

[00:16:44] Exactly. And I don't have to call it by labels or something.

[00:16:47] It's just discovering what's what's what gives you energy

[00:16:51] and what are your superpowers?

[00:16:52] The only thing with that is that it's such a superpower

[00:16:56] that is so second nature to you that you don't see it as a superpower.

[00:17:00] Exactly, exactly.

[00:17:01] And that when it comes to the unconscious part, like why?

[00:17:05] Why am I different?

[00:17:06] Why don't I have a life purpose?

[00:17:08] Why am I getting bored after a while?

[00:17:11] Why every year and a half I have a new project in mind.

[00:17:17] So and that's a lot of self doubts.

[00:17:21] That's the famous imposter syndrome

[00:17:23] because you master something for a while or not even master

[00:17:27] because you never become a specialist,

[00:17:29] but you really get passionate from from inside about a topic.

[00:17:32] You're really diving in someone that start buying books

[00:17:36] and talking to people and have this great idea

[00:17:39] and I'm going to do this and on and on.

[00:17:40] And after a while, it's like, OK,

[00:17:43] but I don't see myself doing this only thing for the rest of my life.

[00:17:48] So again, why am I like this?

[00:17:51] Why can't I just stick to one thing?

[00:17:54] And that's where a lot of frustration comes

[00:17:56] when when you need to choose a career and or when you are in a career.

[00:18:00] I landed in customer success and and I think that's my place

[00:18:04] for several reasons, but I've been nine years in a corporate environment.

[00:18:09] Every two years, I had a new job within that

[00:18:12] environment because after one year and a half, I was bored.

[00:18:16] I was trying new things and I got promoted.

[00:18:18] But for me, that wasn't felt like I'm success.

[00:18:21] I'm a successful person here.

[00:18:22] I mean, like I was like, I'm a failure

[00:18:26] because every two years, I need something different.

[00:18:29] And what I realize now is thanks to those

[00:18:32] or pivoting in a corporate world between different departments.

[00:18:36] Now I can bring those learnings to something new.

[00:18:39] But at that time it's like, where's my path here?

[00:18:42] What am I doing? I'm losing time.

[00:18:43] Yeah, I have exactly the same thing.

[00:18:46] So so I unconsciously rolled into sales.

[00:18:50] So that was never a choice.

[00:18:52] It was just something that, yeah, I stumbled on.

[00:18:56] I was asked for because I had absolutely no clue

[00:19:00] what I wanted to do when I was 23.

[00:19:03] I just studied something very general

[00:19:05] and and a specialization was to become a diplomat.

[00:19:10] And I that was something I didn't have the urge to

[00:19:15] you know, to to vary to wear suitcases.

[00:19:18] And it was it sounded very dull to me.

[00:19:22] Also the words and I was like, I have no idea what what I want to do.

[00:19:28] Yes, I knew I wanted to play music.

[00:19:31] But then they told me you cannot earn money with it.

[00:19:34] It's it's it's things like that.

[00:19:36] And and then you you stumble into sales and then you then you

[00:19:41] day after day, you yeah, it's for me, it's a very

[00:19:44] head thing, a rational thing to do.

[00:19:46] And you become good at it.

[00:19:48] And I was lucky to have some successes early on.

[00:19:55] And yeah, but but then comes the question.

[00:20:00] Yeah, ma is this really what I want?

[00:20:03] And also the same thing that you mentioned is that every

[00:20:07] I love the building part.

[00:20:09] But once it builds and I know it, the fun is gone for me.

[00:20:12] So so this means indeed like every couple of years, I have to change

[00:20:18] or the company changes.

[00:20:21] And it's it's emotionally I also felt like a failure.

[00:20:26] I was like, why can't I just be happy with what is and envy

[00:20:32] those people who are sitting there for 20 years?

[00:20:35] And for me, he's changing again.

[00:20:38] But that's Peter. He's changing again.

[00:20:39] And that feels like a very negative thing.

[00:20:42] Plus also if you look at from a very rational point of view,

[00:20:45] from a money point of view, if I had stayed for a couple of years,

[00:20:50] I mean, so I built the things, but the real cash out came when I left.

[00:20:56] Then the seeds were planted and then yeah, it became trees

[00:21:00] and the people came after me.

[00:21:01] They told me I've made lots of money and I was like, OK,

[00:21:06] so I'm building things, but the others are getting the rewards.

[00:21:09] And it's it's it's it's not about just the money,

[00:21:12] but it's it's an easy thing.

[00:21:14] Why shouldn't you pick the cherries of the things you planted?

[00:21:17] And I was like, oh, OK.

[00:21:21] And there's also another part of it is that the whole corporate

[00:21:25] environment for me felt not 100 percent a fit.

[00:21:31] So I'm going to say that in a positive way, I felt maybe it isn't a place

[00:21:37] that I never really fit it in.

[00:21:40] I fit it in just to work in it.

[00:21:42] And at the same time, I was like, yeah, but I feel different.

[00:21:48] And yeah, that was like

[00:21:54] I wouldn't say it was holding me back, but the way it was structured.

[00:21:58] So and also then you said, yeah, you're going to climb

[00:22:01] into some kind of management positions.

[00:22:03] I'm like, yeah, OK, but then you have to act in a certain way.

[00:22:08] And that's yeah, that's that was that was for me something like,

[00:22:14] yeah, how how am I going to?

[00:22:17] Yeah. How do you say that?

[00:22:18] Be happy, be be your authentic self.

[00:22:21] Yes, that's that's exactly.

[00:22:23] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's spot on.

[00:22:25] Yeah.

[00:22:27] And now I have the feeling that people say, yeah, you're authentic.

[00:22:30] I'm like, yeah, but I mean, I mean, I don't know, it's just

[00:22:35] I don't have any other choice anymore than to do it this way,

[00:22:39] because I cannot cope anymore to fit in in a certain thing.

[00:22:47] But I still have every day in poster thoughts.

[00:22:54] I think that I'm a loser.

[00:22:55] I still in certain areas think I'm a beginner

[00:22:58] because there's always a little bit sometimes that comparison thing.

[00:23:03] And we will always be beginners.

[00:23:05] And that's one of the beauty skills that we have is that we learn fast.

[00:23:10] So we will be doing new things for the first time many times.

[00:23:15] And that brings with great skills, because even if it's something new,

[00:23:19] you will be bringing skills that you have acquired previously.

[00:23:22] So you are never really starting from scratch.

[00:23:25] So I've been in leadership before being in CS and, of course,

[00:23:30] managing an inside sales team or a BDR team has nothing to do with managing

[00:23:34] in CS team. But in the end, you're bringing the leadership skills.

[00:23:38] For me, it's it's yes and no.

[00:23:41] I think managing a BDR team and a CS team is for me quite similar.

[00:23:46] It's just that the type of personalities that you need

[00:23:49] in order to achieve is a little bit different.

[00:23:52] But for me, it's the same actually.

[00:23:54] It's putting the right person on the right spot.

[00:23:57] Maybe the only difference is that they

[00:24:00] I don't know the expectation that's not true because CS and BDR is

[00:24:04] is there needs to be some kind of goal reached.

[00:24:10] So maybe the question is, is that for you, the right spots to be in?

[00:24:18] I think there are several options when you believe you are a person

[00:24:24] that needs to have several passions.

[00:24:28] You need to think, do I need to focus on one thing for a while?

[00:24:34] Like, I don't know.

[00:24:35] I've been in piano teacher as well for a while.

[00:24:40] But that came to an end and then it was time for something because you had it

[00:24:45] or because you could not make the combination or you could not because I was

[00:24:50] in a conservatory for 10 years of my life.

[00:24:52] Then it was a natural step to become a teacher.

[00:24:54] And then I had it.

[00:24:55] It was like, do I want this for the rest of my life?

[00:24:58] No. OK, then let's have other studies.

[00:25:01] But there are people that really enjoy being in something for a period

[00:25:06] of their of their life and then they shift to another thing

[00:25:09] that has nothing to do with that.

[00:25:13] That's not me.

[00:25:14] I wouldn't be able to start making pictures as a photographer.

[00:25:20] And then that's done.

[00:25:21] And now I'm becoming a coach and that's done.

[00:25:24] And I'm an event organizer and that's done.

[00:25:26] I need to do things simultaneously.

[00:25:29] So the other option is you have different revenue streams.

[00:25:36] For me, yes and no, because I do need the different things,

[00:25:40] but I do not need to see the revenue out of them.

[00:25:45] I want to pause here.

[00:25:46] I think that's a very important one.

[00:25:48] This is something for me that I, as a result of the more

[00:25:53] very results driven environments that I've worked in

[00:25:58] and still working in, is that I had the conditioning or the

[00:26:02] belief that everything that I was doing and the podcast,

[00:26:06] playing music that it should bring in lots of money.

[00:26:10] And when I was with my therapist, he said, look, Peter,

[00:26:15] I mean, of course we live in the world.

[00:26:17] They need to make money.

[00:26:18] OK, but the thing is if that there are a lot of people doing

[00:26:24] things almost for nothing and they love doing it.

[00:26:27] If I look at the coach of my son, the basketball coach,

[00:26:30] I mean, I don't think she's she's making a lot of money with it,

[00:26:34] but she loves doing it.

[00:26:36] And then and then I was like, OK, then he said, look,

[00:26:43] Peter, your soul or whatever you want to call it is here to

[00:26:49] you have to express something.

[00:26:50] It's more like the creative part and creativity is about

[00:26:55] doing things, being things without an outcome.

[00:26:58] I you play music for the music.

[00:27:01] You don't play music for the last final court or the last note.

[00:27:05] So, I mean, it's about having a couple of days or dedicated

[00:27:10] time to perform and to make money.

[00:27:14] And then you have create some time just to unfocus and just to be creative.

[00:27:20] And it is OK that there is no money attached to it.

[00:27:24] And for me, that's an advice that I give to a lot of younger people

[00:27:28] is that make sure you are doing things that make money

[00:27:31] and make sure you're doing things because you really love it.

[00:27:35] So you love it so much you would do it for free

[00:27:39] because if you're only going to do the things that generate money

[00:27:43] and you're not going to do things that you love so much.

[00:27:47] I mean, yeah, it's within 10 years.

[00:27:51] It can be that you know, I don't know are becoming very far from who you really are

[00:27:58] because I really think that that doing things that you really love without

[00:28:03] so detaching from the outcome, you can make money for I play music

[00:28:06] and yes, I make money from it.

[00:28:08] But I don't negotiate rates or things like that.

[00:28:12] And I'm not going to say I play for free.

[00:28:14] That's not something I also do.

[00:28:17] Sometimes it really depends for a benefit or something.

[00:28:20] But in so it's not that I need to.

[00:28:24] I don't need that money to live from to pay to pay the bills.

[00:28:28] And but I really love it.

[00:28:31] And it's for me, it's very important that I feel

[00:28:35] who am I playing with?

[00:28:37] See, you see, I've played in bands and projects that I felt like this.

[00:28:41] This isn't working for me.

[00:28:42] I don't enjoy here.

[00:28:43] It feels like that after the performance, after the concert,

[00:28:48] I drain a loss of energy and I cannot explain why this and it doesn't matter.

[00:28:52] So but I don't want to be.

[00:28:55] I don't want to have a situation that I need to do these things to make money.

[00:29:00] So and this is for me a very important one.

[00:29:02] So yes, you need to you need to have different revenue streams.

[00:29:06] And at the same time also doing things which sparks you with lots of energy

[00:29:11] exactly without the the musts of making money.

[00:29:17] And that's the third option because you can have, which is still not mine.

[00:29:21] Mine is the fourth one.

[00:29:22] The third one is you have a regular job

[00:29:26] that it's good enough to give you your money at the end of the month.

[00:29:30] But then you have the time to spend your time in your hobbies

[00:29:35] and your passions in that's what fulfills you.

[00:29:39] Why is that not for me neither?

[00:29:41] Because if I need to spend eight hours per day

[00:29:45] doing something I really not passionate about,

[00:29:48] I would be depressed.

[00:29:50] So yeah, I know.

[00:29:52] But I think, yeah, but there is a big difference, I think

[00:29:56] with you and me is that

[00:29:59] because of the journey professionally we have done created,

[00:30:05] it creates opportunities where we can cherry pick environment situations,

[00:30:10] companies where we can really fit our potential

[00:30:13] and our creativity and our talents in it.

[00:30:16] So that that we are bringing passion

[00:30:19] in a professional environment and it's giving energy back.

[00:30:22] I can imagine when you're 22

[00:30:25] and you don't know what to do and you don't have any experience professionally.

[00:30:29] I think it's very interesting to

[00:30:33] to invest a couple of years to learn

[00:30:36] for sure and that you don't know what kind of company situations,

[00:30:42] jobs, etc.

[00:30:44] Whatever is fitting me or even when you're going to entrepreneurial way.

[00:30:50] What typical, yeah,

[00:30:52] how do you say that environments companies can I create which is fitting for me?

[00:30:57] I know entrepreneurs who are very.

[00:30:59] Between brackets successful in terms of money,

[00:31:02] but they don't like what they're doing

[00:31:05] because because they think it's going to make them happy because it's making money

[00:31:10] because they're not how do you say that they're not ready yet for that journey within.

[00:31:17] So I fully agree.

[00:31:19] I wouldn't do it.

[00:31:20] The performance thing, if I would not enjoy any environments,

[00:31:23] if it's not resonating with my values, of course, I wouldn't do it.

[00:31:27] But I think when I compared to with my 22 or 23 year young,

[00:31:31] I mean, I think, yeah, I had no clue to be honest.

[00:31:37] Me neither.

[00:31:38] And and to be honest, that's not something that was top of my mind neither.

[00:31:42] No, me neither.

[00:31:43] I would say that I'm not going to be a good person.

[00:31:46] I was just doing because I was there and that came to me and that that was what I had to do.

[00:31:53] And consciously and yeah, and so I it didn't pop the question because in my head

[00:32:00] I had like unlimited time.

[00:32:03] Yeah.

[00:32:03] And and and and I'm not saying I was wasting time, but this I was like, yeah.

[00:32:10] Yeah.

[00:32:10] And and and I also think my ego sides.

[00:32:15] I think then I was more about what is the other person thinking of me?

[00:32:24] Things like that.

[00:32:27] What is the other one doing?

[00:32:30] It's it's it's yeah, you think you're in a race or something.

[00:32:34] Yeah, yeah.

[00:32:36] I think it's also once that that phase is over and you start thinking

[00:32:42] why that's what you were talking about the corporate environment.

[00:32:45] There is something that it's not 100 percent, although I mean the rights

[00:32:50] supposed to be in place.

[00:32:52] And that's where I think those questions come in, but that comes with age as well.

[00:32:57] And for me, being in a startup or scale up environment where you need

[00:33:03] to be hiring people, developing people, building a strategy,

[00:33:09] managing stakeholders, I don't get bored.

[00:33:13] So that's for me my stable base.

[00:33:17] But I still do it's given 200 percent of myself because I do have the elements

[00:33:23] not to go boards versus if I would have a more

[00:33:28] routine job that I would die.

[00:33:31] So still I have this type of environment that fits me, who I am,

[00:33:37] what I need to thrive.

[00:33:39] But still, I'm not only doing this.

[00:33:41] So I'm also this year, for instance, I'm going to launch

[00:33:45] a book for children that it's with

[00:33:49] with the story for the child and a coaching tool for the father.

[00:33:55] I'm finishing studies in positive psychology because it's

[00:34:00] it's not about being happy and all these things.

[00:34:01] It's about identifying your strengths and using them on a daily basis

[00:34:06] to increase your well-being.

[00:34:08] So I cannot stick to one thing.

[00:34:11] So I need to have my secure base in an environment that I can thrive.

[00:34:15] But I also need to choose those one two projects

[00:34:19] that's I use, I still need as well.

[00:34:22] Yeah, but that's for me the same.

[00:34:24] I I need a stable

[00:34:28] yeah, in the environment professionally and privately and of personally.

[00:34:33] And then I want to

[00:34:38] I'm going to reverse it.

[00:34:39] So there are for me, there are a lot of people who are their label, their title

[00:34:44] and there it stops at some hobbies and then it stops for me.

[00:34:48] I discovered is just the opposite.

[00:34:50] It's the I am and then I can fill out whatever becomes behind that.

[00:34:55] So so this means like, OK, yourselves, OK,

[00:34:58] and then as a result of the podcast cast,

[00:35:01] I became very interested in the in the marketing side of things

[00:35:06] because then you become an entrepreneur and you're like,

[00:35:08] oh, I mean, what are the what are all these marketers doing?

[00:35:12] And and then you yeah, it's a complete new area.

[00:35:17] Then then, of course, it's it's the coaching part.

[00:35:20] It's about reading books.

[00:35:22] But it's for me, it's really about that space between

[00:35:27] you have the comfort zone and you have then the zone where it's so stretchy,

[00:35:32] where it's yeah, it's uncomfortable.

[00:35:35] And then you have that zone in between.

[00:35:37] So where you feel a little bit pain of the growth,

[00:35:41] but at the same time, the pain is not big enough

[00:35:44] so that it doesn't paralyze you.

[00:35:46] And at the same time, it fuels you actually.

[00:35:49] And I like a little bit that pain of of of of of,

[00:35:53] yeah, searching for my boundaries and really

[00:35:57] you are seeing what that, for instance,

[00:36:00] and we were doing this podcast right now with two persons

[00:36:03] and I've started experimenting with live podcasts.

[00:36:06] So you're adding 20 people and like, what is that energy?

[00:36:10] What is the setup?

[00:36:11] And the first time I was like, whoa, this is really,

[00:36:14] yeah, yeah, terrifying, even with the point that I wanted to quit.

[00:36:20] And then the second one was like, wow, this is magic.

[00:36:23] This is like, whoa.

[00:36:24] And also you get a little bit of validation of the people who were there.

[00:36:28] So and I was like, OK, this is now. OK, OK, I'm writing a book. OK.

[00:36:32] And then I wanted to learn to serve with my son and things like that.

[00:36:36] So I want to learn the piano again.

[00:36:40] And it's always looking for for new things.

[00:36:44] You want to give a keynote, OK, keynote, OK, you want to moderate a panel.

[00:36:48] Never done it.

[00:36:50] And it's always adding things and exploring.

[00:36:53] OK, what's left?

[00:36:55] Are they what's still there?

[00:36:57] And also saying, for instance, video editing,

[00:37:00] it's never going to be a passion of mine. Never.

[00:37:03] It's I don't care.

[00:37:05] Interior design, I don't.

[00:37:07] It's not my thing.

[00:37:08] I don't care if it's white.

[00:37:10] My wife has created this.

[00:37:14] So this is hurting, but not mine.

[00:37:16] And really to discover what what's now the thing I am.

[00:37:22] And as the question, you get a lot, I assume.

[00:37:27] You are a mother. Yeah.

[00:37:29] You have also a partner.

[00:37:32] You have two children, I believe.

[00:37:33] Yeah, they are nine and eight, nine and eight.

[00:37:36] OK, OK, they can wipe their own.

[00:37:42] How do you combine all that?

[00:37:45] I mean, I assume you wake up in the morning and say,

[00:37:48] I'm grateful there's a new day, new options, new people,

[00:37:52] new new adventures, I mean, new new sensations.

[00:37:56] How do you how do you combine everything?

[00:38:00] So that's the point where we need to watch out because

[00:38:04] I don't know if that also happens to you,

[00:38:06] but you were talking about all these little things are coming

[00:38:08] your way and that you get energy and passion to try.

[00:38:12] I'm also like this.

[00:38:13] So it's super easy for us to start things

[00:38:16] because we feel that, oh, yes.

[00:38:18] So it's super important for not get burned out

[00:38:23] to follow your guts and feel OK.

[00:38:27] After this initial yes, is this something really

[00:38:31] that I want to invest at least two days of my life

[00:38:36] and follow that guts?

[00:38:37] And if it says don't do it

[00:38:40] because we can get started in projects,

[00:38:42] that's because we follow that.

[00:38:44] Yes. But in the end, it wasn't us.

[00:38:47] So I really follow my guts when when something is coming my way.

[00:38:52] Do I really want this?

[00:38:53] Even if it's for a short period of time,

[00:38:55] do I do I really want to experiment this?

[00:38:57] If it's a yes, I go for it.

[00:38:59] If it's a no, then I don't.

[00:39:01] And also it's about choosing what do I want to focus now?

[00:39:06] So I started the year when everyone is like,

[00:39:08] I'm going to do more sport.

[00:39:09] I want to read so many books.

[00:39:11] I was like, I'm going, I'm not going to start anything new this year.

[00:39:14] That was my my my focus for 2024 is like,

[00:39:18] don't start anything new.

[00:39:20] Take things that are there in a drawer and put them live

[00:39:24] like this book.

[00:39:25] So focus because and focus follow following your guts

[00:39:28] because otherwise you can't really get overwhelmed.

[00:39:30] And also the things that I'm doing, of course,

[00:39:32] if you are talking to me last summer,

[00:39:34] last summer, I was giving a workshop for children

[00:39:37] to identify their talents.

[00:39:39] I was giving some conferences

[00:39:43] to talk about my experience as a Spanish person

[00:39:45] coming to Belgium and all that comes together

[00:39:48] to inspire also new new joiners.

[00:39:52] But if you are talking to me today

[00:39:54] and that's less than one year ago,

[00:39:57] I'm talking about this book.

[00:39:58] I'm talking about the positive psychology.

[00:40:00] So in your mind, it's like, whoa, how can you do everything at once?

[00:40:03] But I'm not doing everything at once.

[00:40:05] So yeah, yeah.

[00:40:07] And the thing that that's very interesting

[00:40:10] that you mentioned that the thing is for me right now,

[00:40:14] normally I start with some kind of vision board.

[00:40:16] That's it's a it's a kind of a plan where I say

[00:40:19] I want to learn this kind of songs.

[00:40:22] I want to do this.

[00:40:22] I want to do that.

[00:40:23] So to keep a little bit that focus.

[00:40:27] And lately last year and in the last year, actually,

[00:40:32] I received lots of opportunities to join a jury of this,

[00:40:38] to do that to that to that conference.

[00:40:40] And I feel right now that I say no, no, no, no.

[00:40:47] Can you join us for this evening?

[00:40:50] You can speak and I'm like, no.

[00:40:54] Whereas last year I know it wasn't my ego.

[00:40:56] I don't know what said yes, yes, yes.

[00:40:58] And and it right now I just want to focus on a couple of things.

[00:41:03] And I'm like, I'm going to do this.

[00:41:05] These are the things that I'm doing.

[00:41:06] Yes, there's a webinar coming for.

[00:41:09] OK, I'm going to say yes, but I'm going to be quite.

[00:41:13] Yeah, a little bit.

[00:41:15] I'm not 100 percent sure how it will manifest how what it will be.

[00:41:23] And it's it's it's indeed because I last year I had too much

[00:41:27] and then, yeah, I became paralyzed.

[00:41:32] I it's my head was really full.

[00:41:35] It was really and and then, yeah, I mean, I didn't sleep well.

[00:41:41] And I was like, yeah.

[00:41:43] And then I had lots of stress and then everything was started to block me.

[00:41:48] And I'm like, oh, oh, oh.

[00:41:50] And and so really feeling boundaries.

[00:41:54] So it's because if I.

[00:41:57] I mean, if I'm in the creative creative motors,

[00:42:01] ideas come and if then somebody comes with a great idea.

[00:42:05] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm very excited.

[00:42:09] And then if I look back, I'm like, OK, but it's great to have your excitement.

[00:42:13] And then I learned to let it a little bit.

[00:42:16] Yeah, it's like falling in love.

[00:42:18] Like, yeah, yeah, diminished, diminished, diminished a little bit

[00:42:21] that falling in love part because who is he or she really?

[00:42:27] Because there is no magic.

[00:42:29] It's it's a kind of a chemistry reaction.

[00:42:34] And and and then, yeah, certain ideas.

[00:42:37] If I now I had like two years ago an idea with the whole crypto thing.

[00:42:43] I want to start the crypto channel.

[00:42:44] I'm going to ask right now.

[00:42:46] I think what's a stupid idea was that it was like, no,

[00:42:51] that's not my soul mission, whatever thing.

[00:42:54] So, no, I just wanted to go back a little bit to something you said.

[00:43:00] It's about purpose.

[00:43:01] You said I don't have a life purpose.

[00:43:04] Um, I believe the whole purpose thing is complete BS.

[00:43:08] Oh, yeah.

[00:43:09] And I think I think the real truth is it's about energy and energy is the

[00:43:15] is the is the thing that you and it's a very silent voice.

[00:43:19] It's something it doesn't it's not in your head.

[00:43:21] It's really about yes, that's it.

[00:43:23] And it's it's about discovering new things what we are doing and seeing if that

[00:43:30] is that giving you energy is that draining your energy and can you be

[00:43:34] going good at it?

[00:43:35] And then that's a little bit your your purpose.

[00:43:39] And you can have multiple things.

[00:43:40] So the purpose thing we are trying or there's some kind of moving to try

[00:43:45] to put your purpose into words.

[00:43:47] The purpose is quite simple.

[00:43:49] It's joy and expression.

[00:43:50] That's it.

[00:43:51] And so you don't you're wasting your time by finding or searching your

[00:43:56] power purpose and putting into words.

[00:43:59] Don't don't put your time in it.

[00:44:01] Just do certain things, be in silence and then start doing things and then see.

[00:44:08] OK, is it your thing or not?

[00:44:10] And then pursue that.

[00:44:11] Yeah, 100 percent.

[00:44:12] And we were talking about the unconscious part of trying things and the

[00:44:16] conscious part and for me, that was like a

[00:44:19] reality check that I wasn't happy about changing my mind.

[00:44:25] So like, no, I do need a life purpose.

[00:44:27] Why can't I have also one like other people like more specialist?

[00:44:31] And for me, it was like, I don't want to see that I have multiple passions

[00:44:35] because I do want to have one and stick to it and and don't feel bad about it.

[00:44:39] And for me, it was a shock to admit that I don't have it and I'm not going

[00:44:45] to have it. So it required a lot of self

[00:44:50] perspective on shifting that life purpose and why are we in Earth and and what

[00:44:57] will you when you are when you die?

[00:45:01] What do you want other to think about you?

[00:45:04] I don't know.

[00:45:05] And but I did I did want to have one thing.

[00:45:08] So for me, changing from I'm not I'm never going to have that one thing

[00:45:14] to now I can enjoy that first time.

[00:45:18] And now I am out of my comfort zone now talking to two cameras here.

[00:45:23] But that gives me also energy and today I'm going to have a great day

[00:45:27] because we are here doing this.

[00:45:29] So that's what for me, that's that's also being happy.

[00:45:33] So that it requires a lot of internal work, I would say, to to to make that shift.

[00:45:41] And with internal work, you mean that

[00:45:44] the how do you say that?

[00:45:48] The based on beliefs you had from the past, things that happened, whatever,

[00:45:55] that maybe

[00:45:59] in our heads that that that that voice that is always looking for trouble and for

[00:46:06] problems and is holding on small.

[00:46:10] And it's about it's always good,

[00:46:13] accepting that it's always going to be there, that voice.

[00:46:17] And yes, to say, OK, I heard you,

[00:46:20] but I'm going to do it different and I'm going to do it anyway.

[00:46:23] Why why?

[00:46:25] Why should you come on the podcast with Peter because I felt it on your

[00:46:28] questions are going to call and going to prepare this?

[00:46:32] No, we're going to record immediately.

[00:46:34] It's flow. It's part of positive quality, by the way.

[00:46:38] That's and

[00:46:41] because because I know and I feel this right now is that, OK,

[00:46:46] I pushed you a little bit over the edge.

[00:46:48] I feel also that you really enjoying that you are being your true authentic self.

[00:46:53] Yeah, yeah, for sure.

[00:46:54] See it? And that's the thing that that

[00:46:57] that you need to need that you are learning or need to learn that.

[00:47:01] OK, we have that voice which is holding our back.

[00:47:03] But that's not our true selves and that's not something that expects is just a part

[00:47:07] of us, which is there because it needs to it wants to protect us from millions

[00:47:14] of years ago when we were living in tribes and in the jungle and protecting

[00:47:18] us from danger and from the white from from the the lines, etc.

[00:47:22] And but it's it's just to accept it's there.

[00:47:26] And we cannot carve it out of our heads.

[00:47:28] It's there.

[00:47:30] But yeah, we don't need to believe every word it is saying, although it's very

[00:47:38] yeah, it can be very present, especially when you feel tired and you feel not good

[00:47:43] at all that then then these thoughts can be sound very realistic.

[00:47:49] Yeah. And also I think it's a cultural thing because

[00:47:54] if you are coming to your environments saying

[00:47:58] I have this new project, I have this new idea and and that's not once, but it's

[00:48:02] after a while several times.

[00:48:05] People that are not like you will think, Peter, another thing

[00:48:10] and and that has an impact on you as well, on that internal voice that you are

[00:48:14] talking as well. Yes, because that's the thing that I also experience is that

[00:48:19] for a lot of people it was very difficult.

[00:48:22] Still is very difficult to put me in one box because I get that reaction.

[00:48:26] Yeah, who are you? What are you doing actually?

[00:48:28] And is it that it's your for instance, your LinkedIn profile is is is fluffy or is is

[00:48:33] vague and now I'm very comfortable saying like that's the intention.

[00:48:37] You can you will always fill it in what you think of me.

[00:48:42] I mean, but the thing is I stopped

[00:48:47] worrying about the perception and and and like whatever.

[00:48:52] I mean, start a conversation and then

[00:48:56] and then you can if you're open for it discover what what I'm but I accept the

[00:49:01] tit that it's multiple

[00:49:04] and and I'm actually quite fine of it because the other way is

[00:49:10] that I'm going to live a life based on the opinions of somebody else.

[00:49:15] Yeah.

[00:49:16] You see, and also very important there is and it's it's great that you

[00:49:21] and that the that the roads has crossed thanks to current paper.

[00:49:26] Is is that I felt sometimes lonely in that because it's very important that you

[00:49:33] find like minded souls who also have the same like this today is this, then it's

[00:49:39] that and several projects which which does not fit at first sight.

[00:49:44] For instance, yes, I like building business and I am very fond of sales.

[00:49:49] And yes, I also want very happy customers.

[00:49:52] Yes, I like playing guitar.

[00:49:53] Yes, I like creating podcasts.

[00:49:55] Yes, I like the more deep, profound spiritual stuff, the energy stuff.

[00:50:01] And I felt very, very long time, very ashamed because it sounds very contradictory,

[00:50:08] but it isn't no, no.

[00:50:11] And that's another skill that we have is that we can have this

[00:50:17] building or connecting things that are not per se connected and we can find

[00:50:24] the intersection and build something out of it.

[00:50:27] And that's very good, of course, when you are working in startups,

[00:50:30] but it's also very good for us to to feel fulfilled.

[00:50:34] I was talking about this, this book for children.

[00:50:37] That's perfectly how can you combine

[00:50:40] teaching something for children and giving a coaching tool for the parents?

[00:50:47] In a book.

[00:50:48] So that's thanks to that.

[00:50:52] Yeah, that way of mixing things that are not per se coming together.

[00:50:58] So it's it's good to feel we are not the only ones having this type of

[00:51:05] choice issues, but it's also nice to see that there are also skills attached to

[00:51:10] that that make us who we are and make us thrive as well in certain environments.

[00:51:15] So it's good to keep in mind not only the self doubt and the and the choice

[00:51:21] and those issues, but also what we bring to the table.

[00:51:25] And I think that's very valid adaptability.

[00:51:28] I think what that's one of the most rated skills for this century.

[00:51:32] And if if I have one thing is I'm fully adaptable to any type of situation,

[00:51:37] issue with customers within the company, with my own personal life.

[00:51:41] So the world needs us as well.

[00:51:43] Yeah. And also the fact that I mean, in this very rapid changing times,

[00:51:49] I mean, we have learned the capability to reinvent ourselves.

[00:51:55] And also for me is that

[00:51:58] I know that I don't know which is yeah.

[00:52:01] And I have absolutely no shame anymore to say it.

[00:52:04] I know that I don't know because I see

[00:52:08] some some people from our age that they or generation that they

[00:52:13] are they are doing the things for 10 years the same the same way.

[00:52:18] And they're not having that set of beginners eyes of that mindset.

[00:52:24] I'm like, OK, but it's it's quite dangerous in this changing

[00:52:29] world to to stick to that formula because, I mean, the things that are working

[00:52:35] today is you're working and start to blend myself also.

[00:52:38] And I learned that it's not because something

[00:52:40] that's not working in that area in that in that in that sector, in that niche,

[00:52:45] in that situation in that market is automatically going to work today.

[00:52:50] In that so you need to be very aware of, OK, you have experience.

[00:52:54] And at the same time, we are beginning and and and having that mindset

[00:53:01] to really to make any assumptions and to to to start that fresh.

[00:53:08] Those fresh questions like where other people like, yeah,

[00:53:11] we always done it like that.

[00:53:13] No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:53:15] Why and and and and redoing it again.

[00:53:18] I think that's a it's a very, very for me, a very comfortable thing.

[00:53:23] I know that I don't know.

[00:53:27] Cool. How really young are you specific right now?

[00:53:31] You have 40 40.

[00:53:33] OK, now if

[00:53:37] if you you you studied in in in Spain, OK,

[00:53:45] if you would go back, if you would go back,

[00:53:48] I mean, we would meet the Nievese when she was 18.

[00:53:51] And she says, Peter Nieves, it's great to see you again.

[00:53:57] What kind of life advice would you give her?

[00:54:00] And not like, yeah, everything happened for reason.

[00:54:02] I know that's about what kind of life advice based on on on what you know

[00:54:07] right now.

[00:54:09] I would say,

[00:54:11] follow your your intuition,

[00:54:15] let things happen

[00:54:18] and enjoy.

[00:54:21] OK, how how do you know?

[00:54:26] That it's that it's your intuition, Nieves?

[00:54:29] Because I intuition is something you feel.

[00:54:33] You it's something you don't.

[00:54:36] How how does that work?

[00:54:38] That intuition thing for somebody who has have you have?

[00:54:43] How long have you been aware about the muscle of intuition?

[00:54:46] Always. Always. Oh, yeah.

[00:54:48] I've always I was someone you were trained to you.

[00:54:52] Your parents and my parents never explained to me intuition.

[00:54:57] Neither. But I think that's something that was always with me.

[00:55:01] I always had a huge

[00:55:04] inside me, something than when when

[00:55:08] I had to do something and can be from a very little stupid thing to a decision.

[00:55:13] I always knew I want to do it or I don't want to do it.

[00:55:17] And I follow that and the period of my life where I didn't follow that.

[00:55:22] I wasn't happy.

[00:55:24] OK, so this also means when hiring people, intuition is a very important one.

[00:55:29] Yeah.

[00:55:31] It's intuition in the sense of it's not about what I would think with

[00:55:35] judgments about you, because I don't know you.

[00:55:38] Judgment is a mental thing.

[00:55:39] Yeah. And I'm not judgment at all.

[00:55:41] But really at all, because I think we are all who we are.

[00:55:45] We all have a baggage.

[00:55:47] Who am I to judge your your baggage and your actions?

[00:55:50] But I do believe in when I'm hiring,

[00:55:54] I do believe we should have shared values and then each one has their own

[00:55:59] individual and unique skills.

[00:56:01] If we don't share those values, my intuition will will say red flag,

[00:56:06] because those values for me is what brings the team together.

[00:56:10] If my values are freedom and

[00:56:16] equity and yours are

[00:56:20] success, success, meaning money,

[00:56:23] we are going to that's not going to glue.

[00:56:26] So my intuition in that sense is do we share the same values so that we can

[00:56:32] you can do your thing, I can do my thing and we trust each other or not?

[00:56:36] So that's why that part of following my intuition in hiring is there.

[00:56:41] Yes, but from from that perspective,

[00:56:48] the your children,

[00:56:52] the book and the coaching, because I want to respect the time when you were in

[00:56:57] flow in the evidence, I mean, we're almost approaching an hour.

[00:57:01] So I don't want to respect it.

[00:57:02] Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that's.

[00:57:04] Wow. Yeah.

[00:57:06] The book about the children, where did this idea come from?

[00:57:12] So I've been a coach already for years now.

[00:57:16] And I remember this is a very small anecdote.

[00:57:20] That's my my daughter.

[00:57:25] She's this type of I see myself there.

[00:57:27] Perfection is in the sense of I want to do something,

[00:57:31] but if I know I'm not going to do it right, I don't do it.

[00:57:34] Yeah, and I've struggled as adults so much about it that when I saw that,

[00:57:38] I was like, eh, red flag, I need to solve this now that I still have the time.

[00:57:42] And not when she's an adult and she suffers from it.

[00:57:45] So what I did was,

[00:57:47] my L, you can do this, but that doesn't work.

[00:57:50] No, I don't want to do it.

[00:57:51] I don't want to do it.

[00:57:53] So what I did is something that I use in coaching and it's

[00:57:58] tactic for from a neurolistic programming.

[00:58:03] And I adapted to her or to a child with a magic stick and so forth.

[00:58:10] And that worked.

[00:58:11] And I was like, oh, shit, this is working.

[00:58:13] And and after a while using that tool,

[00:58:18] there was a time when she said, no, I don't want to do it.

[00:58:19] And I said, my use your magic stick.

[00:58:22] And she said, ma'am, you know what?

[00:58:24] I'm going to stop using it because I know that if I want to do something,

[00:58:27] I just need to do it and it will be fine.

[00:58:30] And I was like, oh, shit.

[00:58:31] This this is the point where she she was already into believing in herself

[00:58:38] and not being blocked by if I'm if it's not going to be perfect.

[00:58:41] I'm not going to do it.

[00:58:42] And that's the point where I said, this is magic.

[00:58:45] I want to bring these to other people.

[00:58:47] And that's where because with my children, when we are in the car,

[00:58:51] we start inventing stories like I start, I start the story, then it's your turn,

[00:58:56] then it's your turn. And in the end, there is a nice story.

[00:58:58] So taking that part of inventing stories stories and that part of coaching

[00:59:05] my own kids, I brought it together because I wanted to

[00:59:09] help other children and parents to benefit from that.

[00:59:12] And that's where the idea came.

[00:59:13] I'm buying the book.

[00:59:17] Love it, love it, love it, love it.

[00:59:19] Yeah, yeah, our son is six, he's becoming seven.

[00:59:23] So he's very goal oriented and something I was very careful that

[00:59:30] I did not want him to have that as much as I had have.

[00:59:37] Because for me, it was really about not feeling good about myself

[00:59:43] and compensating with the results.

[00:59:48] And but it's in there.

[00:59:50] It's he's what they call in Dutch a straver.

[00:59:54] So he's really, yeah, it's really about going for it.

[00:59:59] And he wants to do it, you know, really, really well.

[01:00:03] I mean, like, for instance, they are

[01:00:08] they have a cart in school and class and

[01:00:12] so and there's a couple of books on it.

[01:00:15] OK, and within, I don't know, three months or six months,

[01:00:18] you can read like 10 books or something.

[01:00:20] And those 10 books should be he should have read that.

[01:00:25] Jules Nod, 10 days went by that those 10 books, he has read it.

[01:00:30] And it's all from him.

[01:00:31] I never pushed him and never no, no, no, he did it.

[01:00:34] And he's like, I'm going to do it.

[01:00:37] And that's the trade.

[01:00:40] If I say I'm going to do it, I do it.

[01:00:42] So I'm like really consistent discipline.

[01:00:44] I'm like, yes, I'm going to do it.

[01:00:47] And and it's yeah, it's it's it's it's good and bad in the same way.

[01:00:53] Because I'm like for me, yeah, OK,

[01:00:55] I become more conscious about it.

[01:00:57] But I don't want him to become like a very lame.

[01:01:01] Of course, he needs to it's great to have results.

[01:01:04] And I want him to have grinta.

[01:01:06] But at the same time, yeah, not because

[01:01:09] Ale.

[01:01:11] And this is something that I say to him every day and he's like,

[01:01:14] oh, are you there again?

[01:01:16] I mean, I love you for the person you are,

[01:01:20] not for what you do or what you achieve.

[01:01:23] Yes, I'm proud of you when you make a goal.

[01:01:26] But I still love you whatever if you even miss the goal.

[01:01:29] So but I want you to enjoy the growth.

[01:01:33] So because for me, that's that's that's the paradox.

[01:01:37] You are perfect as you are.

[01:01:38] And yes, you can still grow.

[01:01:40] And I think he might not understand this and he will say like, I know, I know.

[01:01:44] But these are words that will enable him to not have not issues, but to be

[01:01:52] traumatized, self-demand or to have a lot of expectations for himself.

[01:01:59] That's it.

[01:02:00] So you are now putting a seed that will probably prevent him for being that person

[01:02:06] that's if I gave my words, I'm going to do it no matter what and no matter what.

[01:02:11] It's sometimes even affecting a part of yourself or I need to do this perfectly.

[01:02:16] And if it's not perfect, who am I?

[01:02:19] No, so indeed it's about being instead of doing.

[01:02:22] And now I realize this because I'm body.

[01:02:25] But we live in a society that is do more and achieve and success.

[01:02:31] And what if it's not about that?

[01:02:34] Right, it's about I don't know if I'm going to die tomorrow.

[01:02:37] So my only worry is I want to have a great day today.

[01:02:40] Me too.

[01:02:41] That is the same.

[01:02:42] Yeah, yeah, that's that's yeah.

[01:02:45] Yeah, yeah.

[01:02:47] New U.S. I want to thank you.

[01:02:49] Thank you.

[01:02:50] This is just part one.

[01:02:51] Sorry.

[01:02:52] I really, really, really enjoyed it.

[01:02:55] I know it was a little bit of a last minute because you sent me that that message.

[01:03:00] I think a week or a week ago and I was like,

[01:03:04] and I was like really, yeah, intuitively, I was like, yep, up, up, up, up,

[01:03:09] came come Friday and it's yeah,

[01:03:11] because because we've met once.

[01:03:14] Yeah, and again and we did not.

[01:03:16] We spoke a little bit because we were in a group of six people or seven people.

[01:03:22] But there was no really we don't

[01:03:24] didn't have the time to really connect

[01:03:27] besides maybe be one or two minutes.

[01:03:30] So the fact that you then took that subject about the multi potential,

[01:03:34] I was really intrigued.

[01:03:37] So I'm so grateful that you did.

[01:03:39] Yeah, and yeah, now you're sitting here.

[01:03:42] So so it's your fault.

[01:03:44] No, but thanks for bringing me also out of my comfort zone again.

[01:03:48] That's it's going to be a great day.

[01:03:49] So thank you for having me and with pleasure.

[01:03:53] It's always nice to talk to like mine.

[01:03:55] Yeah, I think you're a beautiful soul and I really admire what you are putting out

[01:04:00] in the world. You're making really the world a better place.

[01:04:03] Nice, nice, nice.

[01:04:05] Yeah, and it's really important because because if you look at at at your

[01:04:09] LinkedIn thing, you from the outside, you look like a very successful person.

[01:04:15] But I don't care because it's you.

[01:04:18] You are a good person doing something good.

[01:04:21] And yes, therefore you are successful and we need more people like that than

[01:04:26] just be just having that that that's really

[01:04:30] yeah, a small golden thing about yeah, she's VP of this or VP

[01:04:36] customer success. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.

[01:04:38] I mean, what's in the title?

[01:04:40] Yeah, it's a title.

[01:04:42] But you are really the proof of really that that expression from from

[01:04:45] it in and that you can, yeah, that you really are an example for a lot of people

[01:04:50] of, yeah, taste a lot of things and go for it.

[01:04:56] Yeah, thanks a lot.

[01:04:58] Oh my God, feeling emotional now.

[01:05:01] No, thanks a lot, Peter.

[01:05:02] And then you've touched me and my heart.

[01:05:05] I'm so grateful that you took the initiative.

[01:05:08] Thanks a lot.

[01:05:09] And again, music being creative.

[01:05:12] I think that's something wonderful to have as well and not only

[01:05:15] focusing on making a career, so I can only encourage you to go and go for your passion.

[01:05:22] Was this experience now so so bad?

[01:05:26] Not at all.

[01:05:27] I forgot these things.

[01:05:30] So no, no, no, no.

[01:05:31] It was a very nice experience.

[01:05:33] Thanks a lot.

[01:05:33] OK, cool.

[01:05:34] Hey, it's Peter here.

[01:05:35] Thanks a lot for listening to What's On Your Mind?

[01:05:37] Looking forward to your opinions and comments.

[01:05:40] And don't forget to subscribe on PSGrow.com and leave your email address

[01:05:44] to stay tuned for future episodes.

[01:05:46] Bye.